Having an affair
Here is something I have been thinking about blogging about. To be clear this is not relevant at all to me its just the subject matter.
I have always wondered if there is any difference between (a) passionatley kissing someone in a nightclub, (b) having sex with someone as a one off (c) having an extra marital relationship.
Clearly there is a difference between the two, and personally feel a long term extra marital relationship is incredibly damaging and I personally think does more damage as its longer term. It also has more intention or implication to hide from you partner. Therefore I guess my thoughts really surroung (a) and (b)....
I know that if Emma went out and I saw her or she told me she kissed someone like this in a nightclub I would be hurt. However its only a kiss and I think it would be something that she would have done probably out of too much drink (albeit Em doesn't drink). Therefore I probably would find it more easier to forgive. However it seems quiet a different thing with sex. Since sex is supposed to be precious and private between two couples, if she were to have sex with someone else, that seem somehow a violation of that privacy... Does that make sense....
I also wonder if these are male point of views and that a female would see it very differently. Don't know...... what are your thoughts?
I have always wondered if there is any difference between (a) passionatley kissing someone in a nightclub, (b) having sex with someone as a one off (c) having an extra marital relationship.
Clearly there is a difference between the two, and personally feel a long term extra marital relationship is incredibly damaging and I personally think does more damage as its longer term. It also has more intention or implication to hide from you partner. Therefore I guess my thoughts really surroung (a) and (b)....
I know that if Emma went out and I saw her or she told me she kissed someone like this in a nightclub I would be hurt. However its only a kiss and I think it would be something that she would have done probably out of too much drink (albeit Em doesn't drink). Therefore I probably would find it more easier to forgive. However it seems quiet a different thing with sex. Since sex is supposed to be precious and private between two couples, if she were to have sex with someone else, that seem somehow a violation of that privacy... Does that make sense....
I also wonder if these are male point of views and that a female would see it very differently. Don't know...... what are your thoughts?
posted by monty at
10:27 AM
2 Comments:
Interesting conundrum! I think that defining "having sex" would be a good starter and maybe even "having an affair". I think that penetration is just a minor issue in the business of having an affair. The kiss is a sign of betrayal and so maybe its importance is greater than the sum of the action itself. What would traditionally be called sex is a sign of betrayal too but if it were a "one off, drunken mistake" then is that less important. What about the possible consequences of all these circumstances? Discovery, STI's, pregnancy, guilt...all pretty heavy.
Any how, I think I might be rambling now...!
iinteresting post monty! I think that yes, a kiss could be easier to forgive than sex however I don't think either is any better than the other, and I don't think that if the person was to use drink as an excuse it would be valid as everyone knows that drink makes people do stupid things so my thinking would be not to drink too much so you don't do silly things, obviously if someone spikes your drink the case can be different, but I'd also look at the objectives of the second perso in the equation i.e. the one 'she' kisses, is it morally right for him to kiss someone if he can tell she's drunk? just a thought
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